Children's mental health 

All parents want their children to be happy and successful but at some time most parents wonder whether their children are happy and doing what is expected for their age. Most children at times misbehave or are unhappy, but these times usually pass. 

Sometimes a child’s behaviour can be unusual or seem different from other children of the same age. A child may be distressed or behaving unusually or differently from how he has in the past. These changes may be gradual or they may happen quite suddenly. Either way they are a sign that your child is needing understanding and help. 

Children's feelings and behaviour 

• Generally speaking it is likely that children and young people are developing well when they enjoy: 

• Everyone feels sad, angry, and afraid or upset sometimes, especially  when things have gone very wrong for them. 
• Not every one will respond to the same event in the same way. Some children cope better than others with stress or with things that upset or frighten them. 
• Some children may want to talk  a lot about something they have found distressing; others  may keep their feelings more  to themselves. 
• Most children show feelings in the way they act; their behaviour will tell  you how they are feeling. It is important to try to understand what the behaviour means. 
• If you notice your child being sad or angry much of the time, this is when he or she most needs your help. 

• The support and understanding they have from people around them is extremely important in helping children cope with problems. 
• Children  can have problems with behaviour and with feelings at different times in their lives. These problems happen more often than most people might think. 
• Children are most at risk of developing serious mental health problems after the age of twelve  to sixteen years, although they can happen earlier. 
• Problems can become worse over time if  the child or adolescent does not get any help. 

Problems  to take notice of 

Problems with behaviour 

• Behaviour problems are usually easily seen. They may include ongoing aggression and bullying, refusal to cooperate or do what they are asked, being cruel to animals when they are old enough to understand not to do this, or eating disorders such as bulimia or anorexia nervosa. 

Problems with feelings 

• Problems with feelings are often not as easy to see as problems with behaviour. They include ongoing anxiety (or worry),  sadness much of the time  or phobias (ongoing fear of a particular thing e.g. spiders, or burglars). 

Problems with thinking 

• These are uncommon, affecting only about one person  in a hundred at some time in their life. They usually don’t begin until late adolescence or early adulthood. These problems  can occur in illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. 

Suicidal behaviour 

• Nine out of ten adolescents who commit suicide have shown some signs of problems, usually depression or anxiety. 

If  you have  a teenager who seems depressed  or who has ongoing behaviour  or mood changes it is important to talk to someone about it. 

What causes  mental health problems? 

There can be many things involved such as: 

• family history (genes) 
• school or learning  problems
• problems with friends 
• emotional, physical and sexual abuse or chronic neglect 
• death or loss of someone very close 
• serious illness or physical injuries 
• family break-up, separation and divorce 
• violence  
• unemployment  
• Homelessness.  

What parents should look out for 

Generally a problem shows when  children or young people have ongoing distress or when they have difficulties with coping, getting on with others, or keeping an interest in what they  are doing.

Signs in toddlers and pre-school children: 

• not playing 
• not starting to talk,  or stopping talking after he or she has learned to talk 
• harming themselves 
• going backwards  in their learning, eg toilet training 
• not growing and putting on weight 
• being over friendly with everyone, treating strangers  the same as family 
• not relating to others, acting as if people were not there 
• not seeming to be attached to parents 
• Doing the same play or activity over and over again. 

Signs in primary school age children: 

• constant crying and clinginess 
• excessive anxiety about being left alone 
• ongoing sleep  problems
• hyperactivity; constant movement beyond regular playing 
• persistent nightmares 
• marked fall in school performance 
• unexplained laughing or crying 
• soiling or wetting pants 
• ongoing disobedience or aggression 
• being so afraid that she cannot do usual activities 
• daydreaming so much that it interferes with usual activities 
• frequent temper tantrums 
• cruelty  to pets 
• Lighting fires. 

Signs in older primary  school age children and adolescents: 

• unhappiness, depression and being irritable, poor appetite, sleeping difficulties and thinking about death 
• becoming a loner 
• marked change in school performance 
• abuse of  alcohol and/or drugs 
• changes in sleeping and/or eating habits 
• avoiding school, stealing, vandalism 
• great fear of becoming obese when there are no physical signs of being overweight 
• exercising much more than seems reasonable, especially if goes on exercising when injured 
• constant worrying 
• hearing  or seeing things that are not there 
• Frequent outbursts of anger. 

If your child has any of the above signs, or if you are worried about  other behaviors  or feelings, it  is important  to get advice from someone who works with children and young people. As a first step talk to  your local doctor, or your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service. Early help can often prevent more serious problems later on. 

What parents can do 

• Stay in touch with your child. Be aware of and attend to any changes in your child’s feelings or behaviour. 
• Some time each day with your child is important. 
• Take an active interest in what your child enjoys and what he is doing at school. 
• Encourage your child to talk  about what is happening in his life. 
• Model appropriate behaviour in  your own relationship with others. 
• Spend time with your child in family activities both with fun time as well as chores. 
• Try not to involve your child in adult problems. 
• Don’t compare your child with others. 
• Notice the things that your child is good at and tell him. 
• Encourage children’s friendships. 
• Let your child know that you love him in as many ways as you can - make sure he feels loved and lovable. 

Your child’s emotional health is as important as his physical health.